ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
