I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize