Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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