It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
im on a boat
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