Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
