Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
