if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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