Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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