when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize