so explain again why im purple
no
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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