so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Who died my cat blue again?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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