I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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