her vagine was all disorganized.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
