maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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