I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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