Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Let's get the cat blown out
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
