So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
