Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
