You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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