and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
