she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
