don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
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I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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