Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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