i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
