u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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