This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
