I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
