I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
