Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
