im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
