Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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