Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
