Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
