I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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