You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
