forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I am one with the molecules
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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