Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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