if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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