it wasn't lemon gatorade
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
