i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
