careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
