I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
