my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Are we still banned from the library?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
