Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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