she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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