I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
