I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
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Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
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My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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