i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
