If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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