i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize