it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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