If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
