p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
