Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
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WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
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I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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