He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
