my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
