I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
