What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
