I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
