He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
