More tranny stories later!
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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